A lot in my life has changed in the past few months. I finished classes, I moved to Arizona, I started my first semi-real job, I started to become financially independent. But a lot has also stayed the same. It's Saturday and I'm hanging out at my house, catching up on TV shows and doing laundry. This is not much different than what I would have been doing a few months ago (except working on homework would also be included in my Saturday). I spend many Saturdays just hanging out at my apartment by myself. I am a social person (for those of you who know me) but I also like just chillin' by myself. I enjoy being lazy: staying in my PJ's, watching movies or TV shows, occasionally being productive on cleaning my apartment, reading a novel. A quiet Saturday.
My mom called a few hours ago to chat and wanted to know my plans for the day. Now, I love my parents and they're pretty cool parents so we're close and I do tell them what's going on in my life. But my mom gets this disapproving tone in her voice when I tell her I don't have plans. Maybe it's not disapproval, maybe it's disappointment? I'm not sure but whatever it is, my internal reaction is to get defensive as to why I don't have plans. I don't know why I get defensive about it because I'm just doing what I like to do. Still, I feel like I have to justify why I'm at home. I want to tell her that my bank account appreciates that I'm staying home and saving money (especially since I had ate out a lot last weekend and I went out to dinner with work friends on Thursday and Friday night; not to mention I had to pay bills this week). I want to tell her that my laundry basket is overflowing and I also need to iron things for the upcoming work week. I want to tell her that I'm not sad and lonely and she doesn't need to feel sorry for me that I'm not around friends all the time. Because honestly, I am very content right now. So why do I feel like I need to justify why I don't have plans for tonight?
3 comments:
i think we were on the same wavelength yesterday. I caught up on several episodes of bones and grey's anatomy. Then i went and perused the aisles of barnes and noble. I was just in one of those moods where i wanted things to be quiet...and let's be honest, when you have apartments as cute as ours are...why leave?!?
I like to stay home by myself too. :)
interesting...mothers... :)
maybe it would help if you told her that even when you had a friend visiting from out of town all we chose to do for most of the weekend was veg out at home. it's just what makes us happy. ;)
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